Friday, March 18, 2005

Thoughts from the Island

That picture there on the right is from the time when I was stranded on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean. It was a chain of islands all about 3 feet in diameter. A friend happened to get stranded on the island right next to me and happened to save his waterproof camera and took this picture. I had to stand there like that for 10 days with nothing but my thoughts, until I was rescued by Polynesian headhunters. Escaping from them is a whole nother story to be told later.

I think it’s funny when people use template responses to questions they just had answered. For instance, no matter what the age of a kid is, the conversation always, always goes like this:

“Oh how old is your son?”
“He’s 4.”
“Oh that’s a fun age.”

Enough with the “fun age” crap! It’s all bullshit and everyone knows it! All ages are fun when it’s your kid, and no age is fun when it’s not your kid!

“She’ll be 82 in June.
“Oh that’s a fun age.”
“No it’s not! She’s back to the diapers, again. Kill me now!”

Memo to the ladies: Ladies, you can be bitchy or ugly, but not both.

Who are these people that are supporting Michael Jackson? I would understand if this trial was 20 years ago, before he turned into the freakazoid, but now? Are these people just stuck in the past?

I’m predicting that Michael Jackson will get off. After having sat on a jury for trial totally based on “he said/she said” and biased witnesses (i.e. defendant’s wife), it’s hard to find a verdict of guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Reasonable doubt is a huge burden on the prosecution.

Why won’t Jay-Z go away? I thought he retired in like 1999, yet he’s collaborating with Linkin Park of all people. Sorry Linkin Park, you lost me.

What kind of name is Apple? Note to Gwyneth Paltrow: oh forget it...why am I in a pissy mode today? Probably because I've been stuck on this island for a week.

I wish they made Chex Mix without all the other crap. I guess then it would just be Chex Cereal. They could have just Chex with rye chips. That’s how I eat it anyway.