Thoughts 2

If Jesus were here today, what kind of car would he drive? Would he drive a fancy car like a Ferrari or Bentley? Or a smaller, more modest, inconspicuous car like a Toyota Camry?

I will never pay more than $12 for a haircut, if I ever get one again. How much do you tip a haircut lady anyway? I never even knew you were supposed to until a couple years ago.

I will watch any show that does rankings (except TRL). Top 10 Mexico vacation spots, Top 40 plays of the year, Top 100 hair bands (there’s 100 hair bands?), Top 10 rich people’s homes, Top 100 songs from a movie. If it wasn’t in countdown form, I would not watch it and the networks know it.

Why is there nothing on TV on Saturday afternoon?

Why does no one vote on my picture. It’s been up for 2 weeks now and there’s only 2 votes. Maybe if I show a little more leg. Show the ladies the goods.

“Where all the white women at?!?” makes me laugh every time I hear it. Blazing Saddles will never be unfunny.

Do people being interviewed on the Daily Show know they are being messed with? They are good actors if they do know. If they don’t know why are not more pissed off at the interviewer. It’s almost like they’re sedated sometimes.

Do other members of the Family Guy cast hear Stewy talk?

Do Nextel people actually use that stupid walkie talkie feature?

How can people read a book and walk on a treadmill? I would be sucked under that thing so fast if I tried that. I applaud those people for the coordination and for their half-ass work out.

Who actually responds to spam emails? Some idiot must be.

I hate myspace pages with music or videos on them. It’s always Britney Spears or something shitty and I have to turn it off before my head explodes. The other annoying thing is that it takes me like 10 minutes to find it.

I made a “your mom” joke to a guy the other night whose mom died a couple years ago. It was definitely not on purpose. Just another drunken flub up. I’m wondering if should apologize again. Would that be dredging bad things back up again or would that help? Either way, going straight to Hell!

I think it’s funny that the nutrition facts on Gatorade says 2.5 servings. Whoa! I better slow down; I’ve already had 1.37 servings. Come on, Gatorade, what’s the point? Just make a bottle 1 serving.

My brother is turning 21 in a couple weeks. What do you get a guy for his 21^st, much less a guy who already has everything, much less my brother?

Why does Polyphonic Spree freak me out so much?

I hate it when people say “oh yeah, I liked them before they were big. Now I’m tired of hearing them on the radio.” So that’s the only reason you liked them is because no one else had heard of them yet? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s still the same music. Jackass.