you're going to think I'm an asshole after this

Why is it that the attractive girls aren’t attracted to me? And vice versa? Is that Murphy’s Law? I’m not going to do anything crazy like kick the stupid ones out of bed or anything because they’re still physically attractive. Just don’t expect a call the next day.

In my brief experience thus far, I’ve noticed that ladies seem like the wild type but not too wild. They like someone that can stay out late on a Tuesday night, but still has a stable job and be a functioning member of society. Maybe they just like the money (which I’m ok with me for now). Lots of people can be hardcore when they’re 30, living in their mom’s basement with no job, but it takes that special someone to go to the full next day of work no sleep.

I’ve also noticed that girls can sense when you’re not trying to pick them up and that makes them want you even more. Girls are stupid.

I have better luck in my Batman t-shirt and jeans in a bar than any other outfit. Maybe chicks just really dig the Dark Knight (like me).

My friend Lisa put it very eloquently. This is my time. I am an only child for the first time on my life. Everything is mine mine mine! I have my house that I’m free to do whatever I want with. I can live my life by the moment like I’ve always want to. Thanks Lisa. You’re the best. Even if you are a little crazy.

I’m very excited about my new house. It’s not actually new, but it’s pretty much a clean slate. She left and took all the crap that I didn’t like. This makes room for my moose antlers and 7-foot long Golden Gate Bridge plans. Only problem is that it’s going to take me a while to get everything like I like it. I can’t just go buy everything right now, and that drives me crazy.

I’ve always bought Men’s Health or Maxim at the airport to read on the plane. I’ve always taken their advice on women with a grain of salt. Having an anomaly of a partner that goes against all logic (and Maxim tactics) for so many years, I had no clue what they’re talking about in these articles, so it couldn’t be true. None of this shit would work on any woman I thought. In the last few months, and many experiments, I’m here to tell you my unclimactic results. It’s about 70% successful. Granted it’s apples to oranges because every girl is different, and I’m definitely not the hottest guy in the place (like Maxim would have you believe).

One thing I’ve learned that I never thought was true. Women really do like assholes, especially the hot, seemingly unapproachable, high maintenance, Dallas girls. Who knew me saying “why don’t you buy ME a drink?” would be successful? But it is.

Then I go to California. Fully expecting my work in Dallas to be no match for CA girls. First night out and I was proven correct. These girls weren’t even that hot, but you couldn’t tell them that.

Sometimes you just stumble upon the best opening lines, literally. I met this girl my second night in CA by accidentally stepping on her toes. I swear it was an accident. I have big feet, can’t help it. (I don’t like the term pick-up lines because it’s not about "picking-up") I have a hard time with that ice breaker. I really have nothing besides “hi”. It’s really up to the girl to say hi back AND something else to get me going.