Insert Witty Title Here
When I’m relaxing in the shower, just standing there in the hot water, I hate the point when I realize I’m just wasting water. Really ruins it for me.
I think I’ve mentioned “How was your trip?” before, but I hate obligatory questions that people feel they need to ask, but they don’t really care about your answer, just making conversation, and I don’t really have a good answer anyway. For instance: “How did your test go?”, “How was your flight?”, “How was your trip?”, How was the funeral?”, etc. How do you think it was, jackass!
Speaking of obligatory replies, someone at my work called me out for one. He announced his wife is going to have a baby. I said, “Congratulations!” He says thanks, but for what? Why do people always say ‘congratulations’ why I announce that?” I had no answer.
I love Wasted Happy Hour Chick. This is the girl who came straight from work to the bar and is still there at 11:30 PM even though her colleagues are all gone, she’s lost a shoe, her hair is in disarray, and she’s been carrying around her laptop bag for six hours. Wasted Happy Hour Chick can usually be found dancing wildly by herself in the corner and is easy prey for Shady Traveling Salesman Dude – who’s not nearly as drunk but has far fewer morals, and is still wearing his company logo shirt from earlier that day.
5,000 staples come in a box 1” x 1” x 4”. That’s enough staples to handle all my stapling needs for the rest of my life. Talk about big things in small packages.
If someone redoes their kitchen, why do they feel the need to boast their asking price $50,000? Newsflash: It’s still a shithole, only now it’s a shithole with granite countertops.
As I am the self proclaimed Captain Obvious, I guess bands are out of ideas for their names. Seems like every band nowadays is “The (insert noun)’s”. The Shins, The Decemberists, The Believers, The Ponys, The Replacements, The Vines, The Briefs The Hives, The Killers, The Concretes, The Thrills, The Stills, …the list goes on forever. I love their music, but so much for being creative with your name.
The Christians in my area have just figured out that “Diablo” in Spanish means "The Devil”. They are proposing the 200 year old name “Mt. Diablo” be changed after 200 years because I guess the Devil is bad. Reminds of a few years ago when the PeTA freaks tried to change the name of the town Rodeo in Marin (pronounced roo-DAY-o like Rodeo Drive) because it looks like “rodeo” as in bull riding which I guess is bad.
I think I’ve mentioned “How was your trip?” before, but I hate obligatory questions that people feel they need to ask, but they don’t really care about your answer, just making conversation, and I don’t really have a good answer anyway. For instance: “How did your test go?”, “How was your flight?”, “How was your trip?”, How was the funeral?”, etc. How do you think it was, jackass!
Speaking of obligatory replies, someone at my work called me out for one. He announced his wife is going to have a baby. I said, “Congratulations!” He says thanks, but for what? Why do people always say ‘congratulations’ why I announce that?” I had no answer.
I love Wasted Happy Hour Chick. This is the girl who came straight from work to the bar and is still there at 11:30 PM even though her colleagues are all gone, she’s lost a shoe, her hair is in disarray, and she’s been carrying around her laptop bag for six hours. Wasted Happy Hour Chick can usually be found dancing wildly by herself in the corner and is easy prey for Shady Traveling Salesman Dude – who’s not nearly as drunk but has far fewer morals, and is still wearing his company logo shirt from earlier that day.
5,000 staples come in a box 1” x 1” x 4”. That’s enough staples to handle all my stapling needs for the rest of my life. Talk about big things in small packages.
If someone redoes their kitchen, why do they feel the need to boast their asking price $50,000? Newsflash: It’s still a shithole, only now it’s a shithole with granite countertops.
As I am the self proclaimed Captain Obvious, I guess bands are out of ideas for their names. Seems like every band nowadays is “The (insert noun)’s”. The Shins, The Decemberists, The Believers, The Ponys, The Replacements, The Vines, The Briefs The Hives, The Killers, The Concretes, The Thrills, The Stills, …the list goes on forever. I love their music, but so much for being creative with your name.
The Christians in my area have just figured out that “Diablo” in Spanish means "The Devil”. They are proposing the 200 year old name “Mt. Diablo” be changed after 200 years because I guess the Devil is bad. Reminds of a few years ago when the PeTA freaks tried to change the name of the town Rodeo in Marin (pronounced roo-DAY-o like Rodeo Drive) because it looks like “rodeo” as in bull riding which I guess is bad.
posted by superjay at 2:20 PM
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