read me

This guy on my Ultimate team works for Frito-Lay and brings free snacks every week. If I were a stoner, that would be the greatest job ever. They wouldn't even have to pay me - just send me home every night with a bag of Doritos. He also gets the "experimental" stuff like banana flavored chocolate cookies and crap to try out on us.

I'm munching away on free Doritos, I notice the bag says "Now Better Tasting!" Now better tasting? That's it? Have the marketing people at Frito Lay totally given up or is this the work of the executive's dumbass nephew? That's all they could come up with? You know your marketing department needs help when it's all downhill from "Nacho Cheesier."

I'm really starting to not like "nickname guy" here at work. Yes, I realize the hypocrisy of me giving Nickname Guy a nickname. I never knew anyone as close to Rob Schnider's Copy Room Guy character on SNL as this guy. Maybe it's because my last name is a little funny and easy to rhyme, but enough is enough.

Who decides the quantity of each size of band-aid to go into the assorted pack? I've got choice words for him. Jackass.