while driving to austin

I bought a 55 pack of peanut butter / cheese crackers at Sam's over Christmas. I'm getting burned out on peanut butter / cheese crackers just thinking about all the packets of 6 I have to eat over the next few months. I know as soon as it's gone though, I'll be jonesing for that crap to get stuck in my teeth.

Do we really need an abbreviation for "Way"? Such as "Amhearst Wy". What's one more letter, really?

Why don't scientists create a long-haired cow? It would be like a sheep, but in cow/beef form. Think of how many more people we could cloth in the world. There could be different colored cows so no dyes would have to be added when making yarn and sweaters and stuff. Maybe it's the wool industry holding back the cow hair industry from taking over. Because you know cow hair would win out - who wouldn't buy a sweater made from an argyle cow?

I'm still waiting for car companies to invent the projectile grappling hook. When I'm cruising down the freeway with no one else around, I want to be able to shoot this hook out of my front bumper and latch onto the 18-wheeler in front of me and sit back and take a nap. Then I can die a happy man.

This guy I work with graduated from college (A&M) about 6 months ago. He had no idea who The White Stripes were. Never even heard their radio songs. Proving once again that I am cooler than most A&M grads.

Why did System of a Down have to get all political? They were doing just fine singing about "sugar" and "why don't you put on a little makeup". Don't they see that riding the political songs wave will eventually crash? Where's Rage Against the Machine now? That's what I thought. Now get off your high horse.

I have no idea what you're talking about...

...so here's a Lincoln with a bow on his head

belt loops

Belt loops don't get enough credit. They're doing all the work - not the belt. If you ever have a belt loop break, you definitely know it. Your pants get all weird, bunched up, belt slipping over the top. Here's to belt loops!

I play golf, but I never seem to get any better. I'm at the same skill level as I was when I was 12. Maybe I'm not playing enough? Maybe I'm doing it wrong? Maybe this is as good as I'll ever be?

I get told I look like someone they know. Quite a bit actually. What am I supposed to say to that? "Tell 'em 'hi' for me!" Then tthe very next thing they say is "yeah he's a real asshole." Seriously, go away now. Or they'll call they're friend over and say "hey doesn't he look like So-And-So?" I'm not some kind of lookalike freak show here for your enjoyment. Someone even whipped out a camera phone one time.