Thoughts 5

Why do California people make fun of the phase “fixing to”, like you’re fixing to do something? Was there a comedian once upon a time that made fun of that? How is that funny? I don’t get it.

I think it’s funny when guys put their riced out cars up as their myspace front page profile pictures.

What does the “H” stand for in Jesus H. Christ? Herbert? Heaven? And where did that come from?

Next time I see a guy with his polo shirt collar flipped up, I’m walking up to him and flipping it down. That’s the stupidest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen. You look ridiculous. This must mean I’m getting old.

Money itself is so dirty when you think about it.

I was nodding off during a product demo today. Got caught by my coworker next to me. Not sure what they expect out of me. It was right after lunch, it’s hot in our office, the lights are out, they’re talking about switches and routers for Christ’s sake! All the ingredients are there!

People don’t say “you’re welcome” enough. “Yeah sure” or “Uh huh” doesn’t count. If someone takes the time to say thank you, tell them “you’re welcome.”

I am in this never-ending cycle of always having too many chips or too much salsa. I never run out of both at the same time so I am always buying one or the other.

I hate trying to come up with witty comments on evites. I wish the whole notion would go away. I wish I could just reply “Yes” without having to use the “sounds fun!”, “can’t wait!” or “wouldn’t miss it for the world!” because chances are, I can wait, and it doesn’t sound that fun, and I would miss it for the world if given the choice.

Who are these people that create myspace pages pretending to Jessica Simpson? Pedophiles? People in dire need of attention?

I got called obsessive today. Never thought of myself as obsessive. I don’t see what’s wrong with it though. As long as it doesn’t become possessive-obsessive in a if-I-can’t-have-you-then-no-one-can kind of way.

I think Rory is a funny name. Question to parents of kids named Rory: What, did you let Scooby Doo name your kid?

Question to people who walk up escalators: You know you’re going to get there eventually; are you really that big of a hurry?

When I went home last in July, Tim and I went together and my mom picked us up at the airport. My mom recognized Tim before she recognized me. A little disheartening. I guess it’s time for a haircut. Not really.

I miss Sonic. And Whataburger.

I faked sick last Friday. I come in Monday and my boss says “you feeling ok, you still look like hell.” Hmm, as a matter of fact, I am felling a little light headed. I better go home.

I hate the fact that I will never know if I am physically attractive or not. The only opinion I can trust is that of a complete stranger who approaches me. Me asking a complete stranger doesn’t count.

When people don’t get good reception on their cell phones, why do they fell the need to hold it up in the air? Like that extra foot in the air is going to get you a signal. Put your arm down. You look ridiculous.

Maybe the Gambler does die in the Kenny Rodgers song. It’s open for interpretation, I think.

Dude, my html skills are unstoppable.

In my seismic class I learned that my house is just barely east of the Hayward Fault. That means when The Big One hits, I’ll be beachfront. Pretty stoked about that.