Thoughts tres

Not ready to start working yet.

So I’ve started to go back and read my high school reading list books again. Just finished Frankenstein. It was so friggin hard to read. No wonder I only read the Cliffnotes in HS. I’m reading a Chuck Palahnuik book, but after that it’s Catcher in the Rye.

There was a good quote in my book. This guy is a recovering sexaholic. He tells his friend, “ I can’t wait for the day when I stop living my life praising myself for not doing wrong things and start living my life doing right things.”

I will eat just about anything with ranch on it.

Is it really possible to catch something from a toilet seat?

There was this guy at the bar the other night wearing 2 polo shirts. Now I’m no fashion expert, but seriously. 2 polo shirts collar over collar? What, what are you doing? Get out of my bar!

We got kicked out a bar last year for making fun of this guy’s frosty tips. He tattled to the bouncer. Something happens when you get a group of guys together with alcohol. Not sure if it’s the pissing contest aspect, the sexual frustration aspect, or what…I’m really a nice guy under most circumstances. Really.

Sometimes people ask me if I’m good with computers. I, of course, say yes because I know Word and Excel. Stupid me. They proceed to ask the most obscure questions that only a computer professor from MIT would be able to answer.

Is it bad that I still carry around a bottle opener on my keychain? I know it was ok in college, but why do I still have it?

It’s 13 steps from my office to the bathroom. It’s 16 steps from office to Josh’s. It’s 37 steps up the escalator on BART. But I don’t have OCD. Def-definitely not OCD.

Saw this on craigslist the other day. I liked it and thought I would share:

“I am the BART Surfer. I ride the steely trains with the greatest of ease. You see me. You want me. I am the guy who stands in the Isle and holds on to nothing... riding the train through all the twists and turns and dips and bumps, never reaching for the grip. I am the master of BART CHI. I put on the casual expression of nonchalance... but underneath my stoicism is elated rapture. Knowing that I rock. You cannot topple me. I am the BART Surfer.”

So I see today that Wes Borland is returning to Limp Bizkit. That means that shitty band will return to shittty radio sense he was the ONLY cool thing about Limp Bizkit. I was reading an article about his return. Fred Durst is talking about the guy they kicked out to let Wes back in, quoted as saying, “"[Mike Smith] wasn't where we needed him to be mentally." Mentally? What does that mean? Slightly above 2nd grade reading level? 1995?

I like the name Jonas. I’m bound by the Dinkins family law that every first son of a first son has to named James. Maybe the second kid will be Jonas, unless it’s a girl. Don’t really want girls. Too high maintenance. Not even sure I want kids at all so why are we having this conversation?

In the news. “Britney’s fiancé, a backup dancer by trade, will star in the pop tart's new clip--a cover of Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative." -- Dear God please kill me now!

Why does my right ear collect more wax than my left?

I belive that Elvis Costello would not be nearly as popular without the glasses.

I hate “that time of the month”. All of a sudden I’m dealing with a completely illogical woman who is so convinced she’s right, I begin to question myself. And as a male, I think that’s what’s so amazingly powerful about menstruation – it actually makes ME feel crazy too! I hate that!

Not a big tapas fan. I hate any meal where I leave more hungry than when I came in. That’s not a meal, that’s called exercise.

All time stands still in the bathroom. Think about it. You have no idea how long you’ve been in there. But when you come out and your roommate/wife/whoever is waiting there, they always says either “Wow, you went and came back that fast?” or the ever-popular “What, did you fall in?” Just once I’d like to come out of the bathroom and have Monica say, “Wow, that took exactly the amount time I thought it would.”

Mac people are so weird and so stubborn. If you’re PC user, they’ll defend Macs to death, even if their arguments make no sense. Don’t believe me? ask a Mac user why their mouse has no right click button. You’ll probably get some convoluted explanation that ends with, “Well, um, well, it’s just better, OK, so shut up!”

I love when you offer someone a sip of soda and they lift up the lid slightly and drink out of the cup instead of through the straw. What, you don’t think germs can swim?

Thoughts 2

If Jesus were here today, what kind of car would he drive? Would he drive a fancy car like a Ferrari or Bentley? Or a smaller, more modest, inconspicuous car like a Toyota Camry?

I will never pay more than $12 for a haircut, if I ever get one again. How much do you tip a haircut lady anyway? I never even knew you were supposed to until a couple years ago.

I will watch any show that does rankings (except TRL). Top 10 Mexico vacation spots, Top 40 plays of the year, Top 100 hair bands (there’s 100 hair bands?), Top 10 rich people’s homes, Top 100 songs from a movie. If it wasn’t in countdown form, I would not watch it and the networks know it.

Why is there nothing on TV on Saturday afternoon?

Why does no one vote on my picture. It’s been up for 2 weeks now and there’s only 2 votes. Maybe if I show a little more leg. Show the ladies the goods.

“Where all the white women at?!?” makes me laugh every time I hear it. Blazing Saddles will never be unfunny.

Do people being interviewed on the Daily Show know they are being messed with? They are good actors if they do know. If they don’t know why are not more pissed off at the interviewer. It’s almost like they’re sedated sometimes.

Do other members of the Family Guy cast hear Stewy talk?

Do Nextel people actually use that stupid walkie talkie feature?

How can people read a book and walk on a treadmill? I would be sucked under that thing so fast if I tried that. I applaud those people for the coordination and for their half-ass work out.

Who actually responds to spam emails? Some idiot must be.

I hate myspace pages with music or videos on them. It’s always Britney Spears or something shitty and I have to turn it off before my head explodes. The other annoying thing is that it takes me like 10 minutes to find it.

I made a “your mom” joke to a guy the other night whose mom died a couple years ago. It was definitely not on purpose. Just another drunken flub up. I’m wondering if should apologize again. Would that be dredging bad things back up again or would that help? Either way, going straight to Hell!

I think it’s funny that the nutrition facts on Gatorade says 2.5 servings. Whoa! I better slow down; I’ve already had 1.37 servings. Come on, Gatorade, what’s the point? Just make a bottle 1 serving.

My brother is turning 21 in a couple weeks. What do you get a guy for his 21^st, much less a guy who already has everything, much less my brother?

Why does Polyphonic Spree freak me out so much?

I hate it when people say “oh yeah, I liked them before they were big. Now I’m tired of hearing them on the radio.” So that’s the only reason you liked them is because no one else had heard of them yet? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s still the same music. Jackass.

Thoughts and Observations

Why do the cotton and milk industries feel the need for TV ads? Have cotton sales actually risen since their "tough, the feel of cotton" ads were released? I don't think so. It just makes my undershirts more expensive. Same thing with milk; milk on my cereal instead of water, there's a new thought!

To quote Otto, "They call them fingers, but I never see them fing." Truer words were never spoken.

Does anyone ever actually use the nosotros in spanish?

I wish it was socially acceptable to wear a cloak. A cape with a hood? It doesn't get any cooler.

Why do people set their watches 5 or 7 minutes fast. You always know it's 7 minutes fast! What difference does it make?

I'm so glad there's no smoking in bars in CA. I go out on Thursday nights and can wear the same clothes to work the next day. Yeah I smell like a brewery, so people at work think I'm drinking at my desk in the morning, but at least they don't think I smoke.

Sometimes I just want to open my car door in the middle of traffic and clothesline that dude on the motorcycle that is driving between the lanes.

Why can't I free myself from a landline at home?

Will the camera-in-cell-phone developers ever reach the point when the pictures don't look like they were taken through a piece of saran wrap?

I think it's funny that Cosmo (only seen the cover) has articles about how to please your man in the bedroom. Seriously, ladies, all you have to do is SHOW UP!

I am convinced that music reached it's prime in 1996. Is that actually true or does that just make me sound old?

Why can't I remember to take my toiletries when I travel?

No! It's not a chain connecting my wallet to my pants, it's a pocket watch so stop staring at me!

in the beginning.

I have constant racing thoughts. I keep a written journal. Most of it crap. I take that back. All of it crap, but it's good to get out. I've decided to post some of them here. I don't know why.