Thoughts 6

So there was this guy who used to work with me. I absolutely hated him. He was the typical no personality engineer. He had a very short and abrasive temper. I despised working with him. He could also never spell my last name right which irked me the most. To him it was always “–ens”, not “–ins”. Ironically his last name is Stankiewicz. You’d think after a lifetime of having his name butchered, he’d have the respect to make sure others’ names are spelled correctly. I guess that shows you his personality. Oh yeah, and around here, behind his back we shortened his name to Stanki or Stank. He really did stink too, that was the best part.

I have the worst posture in the world. I’ll be humpbacked by the time I’m 40.

Civil disobedience seems like an oxymoron to me. The whole point of disobeying is to go against civility. There’s nothing civil about disobeying.

I have little appreciation for nature scenery photography, such as mountain scenes and sunsets, with the exception of Ansel Adams. I think it’s because I can take those pictures just as good as a “professional” can. Now a bird at high speed with telephoto, that’s a different story.

Would it be blasphemous to name my next dog Jesus? What about Buddha?

I think Calvin is a funny name. Poor kid.

Paris Hilton has a book out? Are you fucking kidding me?

I hate it when people end a statement with “if you will”. Irregardless.

Why do I always, always check my fly after I leave the bathroom?

Why are there no “Bi” males? Why is it only females? Is there some point of no return a guy crosses to be traded to the other team? How come girls can play for both teams, but guys can’t?

It’s amazing how you don’t appreciate certain luxuries until they’re unusable. This week my automatic garage door opener broke and I cut my thumb. Need to take a few lessons from flipper man.

I don’t understand why builders in the southeastern part of the country don’t account for hurricane winds in their structures. They get at least one per year, most of the time, like this year, 4 a year. Florida is a disaster area by every October. California figured out how to resist stronger forces (earthquakes) than hurricanes, why can’t Florida?

The internet tells me I have an IQ of 133. I love the internet!

So I hear my digestive track is like 3 miles long or something. I think God put in a turnpike when he made me because, man, whatever goes in, comes right out in about 30 minutes. Maybe that’s just part of being the next link in the evolutionary chain. Maybe it’s the tapeworm.

Who would name their little girl Starr? That’s such a stripper name. What were they thinking?

Farting will never be unfunny. No matter what the situation. Weddings, business meetings. whatever.

The only downside to living here is that friends are always fucking moving away. People come here for a couple years then when they run out of money, they leave. I hate that shit.

Why are chick engineers always such overachievers? This girl in my seismic class has every single goddamn page in the book tabbed. Some pages twice. You know they invented this thing called an index? It was the same in undergrad. There may have been only 1 or 2 girls in each of my classes, but they were always the curve busters. I get it! You’re good at math! Enough already!

I hate it when I see guys at home depot on Saturday afternoon is collared shirts and khakis. What are doing? It’s Saturday. Afternoon. At Home Depot! I’m not even wearing socks. You’re lucky I’m wearing pants!

I hate wearing socks. If it was socially acceptable, I’d wear flip flops to work every day.