read me

This guy on my Ultimate team works for Frito-Lay and brings free snacks every week. If I were a stoner, that would be the greatest job ever. They wouldn't even have to pay me - just send me home every night with a bag of Doritos. He also gets the "experimental" stuff like banana flavored chocolate cookies and crap to try out on us.

I'm munching away on free Doritos, I notice the bag says "Now Better Tasting!" Now better tasting? That's it? Have the marketing people at Frito Lay totally given up or is this the work of the executive's dumbass nephew? That's all they could come up with? You know your marketing department needs help when it's all downhill from "Nacho Cheesier."

I'm really starting to not like "nickname guy" here at work. Yes, I realize the hypocrisy of me giving Nickname Guy a nickname. I never knew anyone as close to Rob Schnider's Copy Room Guy character on SNL as this guy. Maybe it's because my last name is a little funny and easy to rhyme, but enough is enough.

Who decides the quantity of each size of band-aid to go into the assorted pack? I've got choice words for him. Jackass.

hmm

when my cat jumps onto the counter and sits on the counter, does his butthole touch the counter or is there some kind of furry barrier between said butthole and counter?

If the remaining member of the Phish and Grateful Dead joined forces, would they call themselves Dead Phish?

I wish we got a second chance in life - like reincarnation was reality. You'd know some people that are on their second life. It would be nice to relive some of life's experiences differently, or with a different perspective. I wonder how things would be different in our everyday world. Would the suicide rate be higher? Because, hey, if you don't like the way things are going, you know you have that fresh start waiting for you. I can see why Hindus believe in reincarnation. It's a cool thing to imagine.

It's snowing!

ok, not now, but last night it did. There's only 4 of us in the office right now. No one on the "icey" roads this morning and it was so nice. Took me an hour last night to drive home 15 miles in this crap. People freak out when it ices over here. All schools are closed. That time of year I guess.

Why does my water bottle smell like feet?

Prohibition is over!

My little burg just past a proposition to allow the sale of wine in our city's grocery stores. Where is your God now! Bahahahaha!

Next thing you know they'll open a liquor store where they sell liquor. Hell in a handbasket, I tell you what.

Sometimes while TCoB (that's taking care of business for you none acronym folks) at work, I like to play "Guess the Co-worker By Looking at His Shoes". Hard part is verifying my guesses.

How did the word "knockers" become a reference for boobs? Not seeing the connection.

I was walking to the bathroom at the same time as another co-worker this morning, and he asks me the obligatory "how was your weekend?" question. I said, "Great, finally got that meth lab in my garage up and running." That ought to keep him from talking to me for a while - not because he thinks I actually have a meth lab in my garage, but because he's afraid of another awkward moment or being caught off-guard like just now.

just because