why
Why is it that a wolf and a domestic dog can reproduce, but man and monkey cannot create a mankey?
Why do I get so freaked out when I have to present something in front of 40 co-workers? It's happened 3 times now, and never happened before in my life. Get flustered, shakey, sweating. Weird stuff.
Why can't I handle seeing dead & mutilated bodies anymore? My dad used to take me out with him on DOA's when he was a judge to pronounce dead the motorcyclists with no helmet and brains scattered all over the road. Had no problem with that, but now I see pictures of Iraqis with their heads blown off and I have nightmares.
Alright, enough of the why questions.
You know you’re drunk when you spend five minutes in the elevator wondering what’s taking so long before you realize you never hit any buttons. Yes, I come to work drunk sometimes.
There's not many songs that make my list of "songs I never want to hear again", but Sisqo's Thong Song is definitely on that last. When it first came out in like 1999, I realized I didn't want to watch MTV anymore. And I haven't looked back until I heard it in a bar the other night.
There's something worse than falling down the stairs. It's thinking there’s one more step but there really isn’t. You end up doing that awkward lunge where your foot hits the floor unexpectedly and your kidneys fly up into your brain – which wasn’t being used in the first place, obviously.
I like to work out first thing in the morning. On the treadmill at the gym I have to enter your weight before the machine will start. There’s no way around it. There’s nothing like lying to yourself first thing in the morning.
"She had dumps like a truck truck truck. Thighs like what what what. Baby move your butt butt butt. Uh" -Sisqo (lyrical genius)
Why do I get so freaked out when I have to present something in front of 40 co-workers? It's happened 3 times now, and never happened before in my life. Get flustered, shakey, sweating. Weird stuff.
Why can't I handle seeing dead & mutilated bodies anymore? My dad used to take me out with him on DOA's when he was a judge to pronounce dead the motorcyclists with no helmet and brains scattered all over the road. Had no problem with that, but now I see pictures of Iraqis with their heads blown off and I have nightmares.
Alright, enough of the why questions.
You know you’re drunk when you spend five minutes in the elevator wondering what’s taking so long before you realize you never hit any buttons. Yes, I come to work drunk sometimes.
There's not many songs that make my list of "songs I never want to hear again", but Sisqo's Thong Song is definitely on that last. When it first came out in like 1999, I realized I didn't want to watch MTV anymore. And I haven't looked back until I heard it in a bar the other night.
There's something worse than falling down the stairs. It's thinking there’s one more step but there really isn’t. You end up doing that awkward lunge where your foot hits the floor unexpectedly and your kidneys fly up into your brain – which wasn’t being used in the first place, obviously.
I like to work out first thing in the morning. On the treadmill at the gym I have to enter your weight before the machine will start. There’s no way around it. There’s nothing like lying to yourself first thing in the morning.
"She had dumps like a truck truck truck. Thighs like what what what. Baby move your butt butt butt. Uh" -Sisqo (lyrical genius)
posted by superjay at 9:16 AM
2 Comments:
You come drunk to work sometimes?
I'd like to add one thing to your wonderful list of questions...
Why can't my damn bank card remember what language I speak so I don't have to press the "English" button every time I go to get money. Just think how many millions of people have had to press the English button just because the damn programmers didn't add a place for this information on the magnetic strip.
well, what if you have a chinese or spanish speaking spouse (or in your case Russian) who uses your same ATM card, but would prefer another language? Especially if her English isn't that great. She could end up transferring thousands of dollars to some guy in Nigeria and not even know it. Just a thought.
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